i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
