I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize