In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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