Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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