I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
