Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
