Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
