I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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