Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
