I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Your penis caused this!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
