I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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