just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
