3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
