Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
