i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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