When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize