Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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