She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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