Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
