Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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