im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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