you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
