so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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