Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
