the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Randomize
