If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize