well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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