I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
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