I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
