she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
