Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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