so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
