For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
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Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
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I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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