Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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