I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
