ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
