Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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