If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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