i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
