Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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