youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
lets start a swedish sibling band together
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize