i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
