i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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