So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
