I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
false alarm. still invincible.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
