I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
