can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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