you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
