Screwed.edu
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize