I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize