first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm just crazy horny about you
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
