so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
