I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
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he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
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Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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