well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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