3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
