Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
