i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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