You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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