Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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