Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
