And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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