we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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