I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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