uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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