Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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