I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
